Finding Eternal Solace in My Musical Escapades

July 25th, 2020

If I ever decide to have kids, the first thing I’d want them to learn is how to play a musical instrument. My views are obviously biased since I have been immersed in music since my childhood, but I think my father made one of the greatest decisions by introducing me to the musical world. I started off learning piano, and it was one of those things that my parents had to push me in more or less. I went to lessons routinely, practiced occasionally, but I never really found more of a spark or interest in these things until I realized that I needed to put something on my college applications unfortunately (this was the harsh truth of my school district). I stuck with music for many years, and eventually the Stockholm Syndrome kicked in and I began to appreciate its value in my life. I kind of regret that I didn’t enjoy all of this in the moment. I think as we mature and grow we begin to realize some of these things in life that we’ve taken for granted. I honestly wasn’t very self-aware of myself during high school, but an ass-whooping in college made me understand a lot of things about myself, music being one of them. Music has become my escape now, and I literally have listened to 100,000 minutes of music just this year. I listen to music all the damn time.

Growing up I had listened to a ton of A.R. Rahman’s Indian hits (the dude is a legend btw, if you don’t know him, google him and educate yourself!), not because I had wanted to but because my dad was the BIGGEST fan. I remember sitting in the old green 1998 Honda Accord when my dad would insert a brand-new CD into our Pioneer stereo system. Each song was a banger, and I honestly think I can make the claim that I’ve listened to every single A.R. Rahman song in existence. My dad a burned all these songs to tons of CDs, and I vividly remember the car rides where I’d press my feet against the back of his seat and stare through the window at the wonders of the world.

When I was around 5 years old, my parents insisted that I begin to learn how to play piano. It was my father’s dream to be able to play a musical instrument to satisfy his dreams of become a music producer one day (lol). Luckily, we were able to find a piano teacher who was just down the street. Dr. Ho was a very kind, caring lady who had plenty of students coming in and out during the day. I’d pack up my bag with various piano books and attend lessons during the evenings of my school days. I remember walking into Dr. Ho’s house and waiting for my turn while she was teaching another student. I still remember all the days I spent biking down the street or running down the street because of the rain. I remember dreading having going to practice because I hadn’t practiced a piece in a week or so (oops!) I actually haven’t thought about these moments in quite some time, so much to the point where the nostalgia is making me a little sad. I wasn’t truly invested in music at the time. I was disciplined enough to sit down and do what I was told, but for the most part piano was something that my parents kind of forced me to do, and I went through the motions of life.

I decided to join the middle school orchestra in 6th grade. I didn’t have a preference for what instrument I wanted to play, but band instruments and marching band seemed like too much work to me at the time. String instruments appealed to me more, so I invested more of my time in this avenue. My time in the middle school orchestra really showed how useful all the piano lessons I had were. I was able to connect what I was learning to the thing I had learned in musical theory and general musical experience. By no means was I a prodigy. I just had enough experience to be able to put things together, and I was grateful for that. I started off playing the violin as a begineer, but quickly jumped to higher ranks in the orchestra. In the 7th grade, I decided to switch to playing the string bass because it felt more natural to me. I really don’t have a particular reason for why I switched, but I never regretted it because I was able to translate my experiences on the violin to the string bass - I wasn’t half bad at it.

I kind of continued the tracks of playing classical music through the high school orchestra, did the auditions for All-Region because it was the socially acceptable thing to do for a student who wanted to compete in college applications. Orchestra and science fair were the two things that I had going for me, so I had to commit my time to it. I viewed these things as a task, and honestly, I never took things to the next step in terms of my initiative. I was a bystander in my life. I never dived 1 step deeper in these things that I was doing because I was more concerned about other things than genuinely trying to maximize the opportunity that I had in the moment. I think if I had just tried to figure out what I enjoyed more about the bass and had taken the time to find pieces I enjoyed playing, I could have been really good. But I don’t think that matters too much because I did enjoy the times I had in orchestra, and I definitely learned a lot from the practices and minimal time that I did commit to such hobbies. Anyways, I digress. I continued this musical adventure until I started my first year at UT.

I didn’t realize the value of music in my life until I stopped playing in college (ha, what a cliche). It’s an interesting situation because I had taken this activity for granted all throughout my life, but the moment it’s gone, I suddenly wanted it again. Humans are straight up weird man. I remember days feeling empty or overly stressed about things, and I genuinely wonder if playing the bass would have just helped calm my nerves or help divert my attention to something else for a couple hours. I think I should have continued playing in some fashion. I regret not trying to do something about that entire situation. However, some of my classes in college did suck up a lot of my time, so I can’t be too hard on myself about that. That just was the situation at the time, and I made the decisions that I thought were right. Obviously, I’ve matured and reflected on that, so that’s just another set of experiences that I can learn from.

A couple of months ago, my girlfriend and close friends pitched in to buy me a bass guitar for my birthday, which honestly surprised the heck out of me. After having music absent in my life for almost three years, I suddenly had an opportunity to hit refresh and engage in this activity. This time, I could enjoy the music and not make the mistakes I made early. Now if you’re wondering why I wouldn’t have bought a bass to fill in this gap in my life I’ll say two things: I’m stingy as hell, and I wasn’t aware that music was something that I was missing in my life until we all got locked down in quarantine. Playing the bass guitar was a new experience since it was a little different, but it took me probably a few weeks to readjust myself since the strings and playing style were very similar to the string bass. I was surprised that I was able to figure things out again. It just goes to show that these accumulations of experiences compound over years and years, yielding some interesting results. I’m honestly extremely grateful that I was given a shot at my musical escapades. Just jamming out to some tunes here and there during my workday has helped me with my general well-being.

I listen to pretty much all kinds of music. Anything that sounds good is something that I can appreciate. Currently, I’m listening to a lot of Red Hot Chili Peppers (okay these guys are just next freaking level) and learning how to play some of the bass parts for these songs. The hardest one I’ve been working on is Can’t Stop, a great anthem of the early 2000s. The style for this involves slap-bass techniques, so I had to spend a good amount of time just practicing this motion until I was able to mimic Flea (a godly bassist). A lot of this music has inspired me to want to learn how to play the electric guitar as well. I’m hoping to make the investment to purchase one in the near future. One thing that I like about guitars is that I don’t have to review my music theory all over again because I can just follow the tab numbers. It honestly makes my life 1000x times easier. However, I don’t know how to use a pick or how to strum the guitar, so I’m hoping to learn that eventually. One step at a time. One day at a time. One week at a time. One month at a time. One year at a time. We’ll get there.